I recently read this book, "Raising a Modern Day Night" by Robert Lewis. Obviously I recommend this book because it gives advice on how to raise boys to be authentic Christian men. Many dads I know are already great dads, but this challenges all of us to raise the bar and seek out the best. I know I need to be challenged in this area. So, this is not a review as much as it is a few notes/comments on a chapter by chapter basis.
"Grandchildren are the crown of old me, and the glory of sons is their fathers" -Proverbs 17:6 (c. 3)
We are all involved in athletic events, school programs, and church. Ae we imparting a biblical vision for manhood? Are we teaching our sons how to relate to women in a biblical way. We are giving our children good things, but not always the best things. They need social and spiritual competence. They need a vision for manhood, a code of conduct, and a transcendent cause. (c. 4)
Men get vision of manhood from community, family, and church, but it does not alway work that way these days. The author describes a real man as someone who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward. (c. 4)
Do what is right when no one is looking. We need a will to obey, a work to do, and a woman to love. Ten biblical ideas: Loyalty, Servant Leadership, Kindness, Humility, Purity,Honesty, Self-discipline, Excellence, Integrity, and Perseverance. A father must set a godly example, a father must teach spiritual truth, a father trains his son to obey biblical truths by sharing stories, a father reinforces a will to obey by affirmation, attention, and discipline. Identify your son's giftedness. Prepare your son for marriage by loving, leading, and honoring your wife. Teach your son generosity. (c.5)
Boys need a transcendent cause. Don't be irrelevant. It must be heroic, timeless, and meaningful. We need moral conviction over marketplace competence. We need spiritual significant not social success. We need the best things, not just the good things. Share your faith with your son, partcipate in a bible study with him, pray with our son, participate in his baptism, share what you are learning from the bible, and be an example in serving God. (c. 6)
Celebrate key events with a ceremony. Weapons of the spirit: Character, Instruction, and Ceremony. Consider the knighthood ceremony. Ceremonies used cost time in planning, use symbols and prescribe ascribe value...they empower life with vision. (c. 7)
Four key manhood ceremonies all men should recognize: Puberty (13), High School Graduation, College Graduation, and Marriage. (c. 8)
The author suggests six ceremonies, but recommends coming up with your own. Include other dads and possibly sons. (c. 9)
Commemorate a transcendent cause - baptism - with your son. (c. 10)
To help your boy become a man, enlist the community. Your son hears the same message from someone else, it deepens friendships, and it expands your son's mora and spiritual sources. (c. 11)
The father shall model manhood. You will be either a good or bad model, and your son will follow (c. 12)
The author shared reflections on where his sons are today. He also shares the idea of the father's doing a ceremony with their sons watching where they commit to lead their preteen sons(c. 13)
The book ends with encouragement to men who think they have blown it. The author says talk with your son, confess to your son, and bless him, and press on to be the best dad you can. (c. 14)
