- Above all else....I have been blessed with wife and children way more than I deserve
- I don't know what I don't know…I didn't know everything I thought I knew at 40
- I have never regret time invested with wife and kids...never
- Between 40 and 30 I did not feel much different…between 45 and 50 I do.
- Life insurance up their bets against us men at 50 and higher.
- I spent too much time worrying about things that never happened....no more
- I didn't know as much as I thought I knew at 40....probably means the same thing at 50
- Sometimes I like being rebellious...in the end, it has just made me take the hard way
- Birthday cards for 50 year olds get more insulting...and funnier
- I have a lot of faith in the future because of so many great people I have met
- From 0-10, I had a lot of influence over my kids…from 11 on, I still do, but it is different
- I'm need to listen to wise counsel; I know too many who won't listen to anyone
- I have long since left my desire to keep up with the Jones'
- Three marathons in my 40's...I have more things up my sleeve
- I need to read more books
- The next 10 years will look dramatically different than the last
- Though I know trials will come, nothing will shake my faith
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
50 ain't so bad....that's my line and I'm sticking to it
Here's some reflections on turning 50 (not all inclusive, but what I thought of today)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
The Next Thing
OVERVIEW
This is my stab at tackling the topic of purity and dating. It is all based on the belief that God's desire is for individuals to stay pure until marriage. It is not based on the idea that I am perfect or my kids will be perfect, but that it is a worthy aim. I was not raised with that aim. While I think things have turned out OK, there are some detours I would have been better off missing. I'm sure I'll have more to write, but I'll start with this....
Throughout my oldest son's elementary years, we slowly peeled back the "birds and the bees" lesson, but as the end of elementary approached, things got more serious. In the spring of 6th grade, the school district's health lesson tells all, but also shares a lesson on AIDS and how you can get it. There are many views out there on dating and relationships, but our goal was for our children to avoid serious dating and physical relationships and to not conform to the world's views. I want them to understand an idea: Dating an individual is to determine if you are suitable mates for marriage and one should seek to remain sexually pure until then. Thus, while dances, socials, and having friends of the opposite sex have a place, serious dating and sexual promiscuity in these years have no place.
So, one weekend, in the spring of 6th grade, my oldest son and I set out for a weekend to discuss these things. We used the Passport2Purity materials. They consist of books and audio CD's. We actually set aside Friday night through Saturday night to have fun and review the lessons. What follows is how we went about it.
GETTING STARTED
Below is an outline I used to discuss sexual purity with my son. It is only an outline, but you can use it if you don't go the Passport2Purity materials. You miss out on much of the content, but any investment of time on this issue would be worth it, but the more the better. You may have to think on your toes, so be sure to review they outline in advance.
The idea is that you want your son or daughter to remain pure until they are married. Why? because that is what God has called us to. You are not here to discuss if you remained pure and were able to make it to this point in your life without too much emotional or physical damage from your activities before you were married.
PRE-WORK
SESSION 1 – What is our guide for life? God's Word.
Dinner - tell him what the time you spend together is to discuss sexual purity. Let him you are not here to re-discuss everything he has heard about in health class. (throughout the weekend, be prepared to re-discuss how everything works in case he nodded his head in class a lot, but still did not get it.) Tell him that God's plan is for him to remain sexually pure throughout his life and to enjoy sex fully in the context of marriage. Present journal with letters. Let him know that reviewing and memorizing scripture is part of your time together.
Main Idea: Though today's culture tells us how we are to live, God's word is our guide.
Questions: Page 3-4
Review and Memorize
“He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.” Colossians 1:18
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm - 119:105
Suggested Activity: Try putting together a puzzle together without the picture on the box. It can't be done...you need a guide. In the same way, remind your child that without God's Word, we are lost.
Parent Questions: Page 5
SESSION 2 - Running with the Herd and Understanding Peer Pressure
Questions: Pages 9-12
Listen to audio message
Main Idea: Peer Pressure is all around, and it is not always good. Make up your mind in advance the type of teenager you are going to be so you are ready when you face temptation.
Know what to look for in a friend.
What do they think about?
What do they watch and read and look at?
What do they talk about? And do they use bad language?
Where do they spend their time?
Are they committed to Christ?
Memorize
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning; for some have no knowledge of God” -1 Corinthians 15:33-34a
Activity: show your child a bottle of water that is clean and pure....which represents who he is today and how God desires him to be. Next, show him the food color tablet. It represents ideas and actions that take him away from God's plan for him. Drop the tablet in the water. We have many friends that are good influences in our lives, but be on guard for those that would take us away from God's plan. Stay clean and pure.
Make up your mind Question: Page 13
Parent Question: Pages 13-14
SESSION 3, Growing into Sexual Maturity
Idea: Sexual Maturity…it’s happening. See if they understand what sex is. Let them know it was designed by God and intended for marriage as a way of bringing children into the world. It brings closeness in a marriage. But, you must keep your desires under control, and treat young women with respect. Answer any remaining questions from health class. Be up front! He has heard all the terms already. Make sure there is understanding.
Listen to audio message
Questions: Page 25-29
Memory Verse
“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” -1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Suggested Activity: Burned up. Show him that once a match is lit, it cannot be re-lit. In the same way, once you lose your purity, it cannot be regained. Tell him he has to make up his mind now, that he will remain sexually pure until he is married.
Make up your mind questions: Page 30
Parent Questions: Page 30
SESSION 4 - Staying Pure
Listen to audio message
Main Idea: to stay pure, you must establish boundaries. Think of being close to a cliff. The safest area is far from the edge.....holding hands. The most unsafe area is intercourse...off the cliff. Everywhere in between represents the progression from one place to the next. Where does one draw the line? As far away as possible. You must make up your mind in advance.
Questions: Pages 33-35
Memory Verse
“I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases.” - Song of Solomon 8:4
Discuss activity: Leaky balloon - a large balloon filled with water will not burst when punctured with a needle, but will leak out over time. You can always wait, but you cannot go back.
"Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." - 2 Timothy 2:22
"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" - 1 Thessalonians 4:3
Make up your mind Question: Page 36
Parent Question: Page 36
SESSION 5 - It's a Date
Listen to the audio message
Main Idea: Dating, when is the right time.
What is Dating? It is when a boy and a girl are together alone. The purpose is to see if God wants you to marry this person. How old should you be? The question is whether you are mature enough to be trusted. You should be with a person who knows Christ and who is approved by your parents. See dating as serving others...not to fix others. Go in groups. Don't act married. No physical touch. Parents decide when you are old enough. Keep them involved. Communicate, set boundaries, and guard your purity.
Be willing to wait.
It's ok and good to have friends who are girls at this point, but a side of all of this is helping to have healthy relationships.
Questions: Page 39-43
Memory Verse
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” - Phillipians 2:3-4
Discuss Activity: Glued Up
Make up your mind questions: Page 44
Parent Questions: Page 44
CONCLUSION
This is my stab at tackling the topic of purity and dating. It is all based on the belief that God's desire is for individuals to stay pure until marriage. It is not based on the idea that I am perfect or my kids will be perfect, but that it is a worthy aim. I was not raised with that aim. While I think things have turned out OK, there are some detours I would have been better off missing. I'm sure I'll have more to write, but I'll start with this....
Throughout my oldest son's elementary years, we slowly peeled back the "birds and the bees" lesson, but as the end of elementary approached, things got more serious. In the spring of 6th grade, the school district's health lesson tells all, but also shares a lesson on AIDS and how you can get it. There are many views out there on dating and relationships, but our goal was for our children to avoid serious dating and physical relationships and to not conform to the world's views. I want them to understand an idea: Dating an individual is to determine if you are suitable mates for marriage and one should seek to remain sexually pure until then. Thus, while dances, socials, and having friends of the opposite sex have a place, serious dating and sexual promiscuity in these years have no place.
So, one weekend, in the spring of 6th grade, my oldest son and I set out for a weekend to discuss these things. We used the Passport2Purity materials. They consist of books and audio CD's. We actually set aside Friday night through Saturday night to have fun and review the lessons. What follows is how we went about it.
GETTING STARTED
Below is an outline I used to discuss sexual purity with my son. It is only an outline, but you can use it if you don't go the Passport2Purity materials. You miss out on much of the content, but any investment of time on this issue would be worth it, but the more the better. You may have to think on your toes, so be sure to review they outline in advance.
The idea is that you want your son or daughter to remain pure until they are married. Why? because that is what God has called us to. You are not here to discuss if you remained pure and were able to make it to this point in your life without too much emotional or physical damage from your activities before you were married.
PRE-WORK
- Write your son a letter letting him know a little about yourself and why you think the topic of purity is important. Let him know that the time you will be spending together discussing it will expand on the idea. If you can, get a few of your other male friends who know him to write him a know.
- Buy a small journal for him to record notes. In the blank pages, write out the major points of the outlines with blank pages in between for him to fill in.
- Review main ideas and scripture.
- Purchase a simple, not too simple, puzzle, a box of matches, a bottle of water, and food color tablet
SESSION 1 – What is our guide for life? God's Word.
Dinner - tell him what the time you spend together is to discuss sexual purity. Let him you are not here to re-discuss everything he has heard about in health class. (throughout the weekend, be prepared to re-discuss how everything works in case he nodded his head in class a lot, but still did not get it.) Tell him that God's plan is for him to remain sexually pure throughout his life and to enjoy sex fully in the context of marriage. Present journal with letters. Let him know that reviewing and memorizing scripture is part of your time together.
Main Idea: Though today's culture tells us how we are to live, God's word is our guide.
Questions: Page 3-4
Review and Memorize
“He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.” Colossians 1:18
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm - 119:105
Suggested Activity: Try putting together a puzzle together without the picture on the box. It can't be done...you need a guide. In the same way, remind your child that without God's Word, we are lost.
Parent Questions: Page 5
SESSION 2 - Running with the Herd and Understanding Peer Pressure
Questions: Pages 9-12
Listen to audio message
Main Idea: Peer Pressure is all around, and it is not always good. Make up your mind in advance the type of teenager you are going to be so you are ready when you face temptation.
Know what to look for in a friend.
What do they think about?
What do they watch and read and look at?
What do they talk about? And do they use bad language?
Where do they spend their time?
Are they committed to Christ?
Memorize
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning; for some have no knowledge of God” -1 Corinthians 15:33-34a
Activity: show your child a bottle of water that is clean and pure....which represents who he is today and how God desires him to be. Next, show him the food color tablet. It represents ideas and actions that take him away from God's plan for him. Drop the tablet in the water. We have many friends that are good influences in our lives, but be on guard for those that would take us away from God's plan. Stay clean and pure.
Make up your mind Question: Page 13
Parent Question: Pages 13-14
SESSION 3, Growing into Sexual Maturity
Idea: Sexual Maturity…it’s happening. See if they understand what sex is. Let them know it was designed by God and intended for marriage as a way of bringing children into the world. It brings closeness in a marriage. But, you must keep your desires under control, and treat young women with respect. Answer any remaining questions from health class. Be up front! He has heard all the terms already. Make sure there is understanding.
Listen to audio message
Questions: Page 25-29
Memory Verse
“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” -1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Suggested Activity: Burned up. Show him that once a match is lit, it cannot be re-lit. In the same way, once you lose your purity, it cannot be regained. Tell him he has to make up his mind now, that he will remain sexually pure until he is married.
Make up your mind questions: Page 30
Parent Questions: Page 30
SESSION 4 - Staying Pure
Listen to audio message
Main Idea: to stay pure, you must establish boundaries. Think of being close to a cliff. The safest area is far from the edge.....holding hands. The most unsafe area is intercourse...off the cliff. Everywhere in between represents the progression from one place to the next. Where does one draw the line? As far away as possible. You must make up your mind in advance.
Questions: Pages 33-35
Memory Verse
“I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases.” - Song of Solomon 8:4
Discuss activity: Leaky balloon - a large balloon filled with water will not burst when punctured with a needle, but will leak out over time. You can always wait, but you cannot go back.
"Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." - 2 Timothy 2:22
"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" - 1 Thessalonians 4:3
Make up your mind Question: Page 36
Parent Question: Page 36
SESSION 5 - It's a Date
Listen to the audio message
Main Idea: Dating, when is the right time.
What is Dating? It is when a boy and a girl are together alone. The purpose is to see if God wants you to marry this person. How old should you be? The question is whether you are mature enough to be trusted. You should be with a person who knows Christ and who is approved by your parents. See dating as serving others...not to fix others. Go in groups. Don't act married. No physical touch. Parents decide when you are old enough. Keep them involved. Communicate, set boundaries, and guard your purity.
Be willing to wait.
It's ok and good to have friends who are girls at this point, but a side of all of this is helping to have healthy relationships.
Questions: Page 39-43
Memory Verse
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” - Phillipians 2:3-4
Discuss Activity: Glued Up
Make up your mind questions: Page 44
Parent Questions: Page 44
CONCLUSION
- Summarize the key points of the sessions. He may not have turned the corner yet from a physical and maturity perspective, but he will.
- Let him know you will be going thru these materials again in the future. Look for opportunities to re-address issues...near first school dance....when a friend gets a girlfriend.
- Have him sign a purity pledge ( make it up on your own)
- Give him a special gift, such as a pocket knife, to remind him of the time you had together.
- Let him know you are there for any questions.
- Pray with him.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Starting 2012
Here's a little snapshot of what is going on with us. I don't know how often I will post updates...not too often...but I'll probably do this a few times this year.
The beginning of the year is typically a slower month since we don't have any kids playing winter sports, but it has been busy so far with Good News Club in January and lots of preparation for Samantha and Suzanne gong to Haiti.
Good News Club is very rewarding, but a lot of work. It's like after school vacation bible school that goes on one day a week for six weeks. It is a big deal as Suzanne coordinates about 25 volunteers who work with 140 kids. I lead music and help out where I can. There is always some challenge each year to make sure we are following all the public school rules, but things always seem to work out. This year, it was special because we had a bunch of 6th graders that were small group helpers in their last year of elementary school. They made us proud!
So, Samantha and Suzanne are off to Haiti on 2/16. Their trip will mirror the trip Austin and I went on last year. We call these trips discipleship trips and not mission trips. The goal is to help the people of Haiti in many ways, but also to train the kids and help them develop a heart for serving. Mission of Hope Haiti is an amazing place where you see amazing people do great things.....it is very inspiring! You'll hear more about this, and I am very excited for them.
The kids are off and running with spring sports. Charlie...soccer. Sam...volleyball and soccer. Austin...winter flag football, maybe co-ed soccer, and soon lots of baseball. It really is a crazy after school schedule. We can hardly look out at the calendar too far.
After they get back, then a few weeks of school then a spring break ski trip for the whole family to Beaver Creek, Co. We have not had much of a winter, so I am ready now!
This semester, Austin has been doing Cotillion....brushing up on his etiquette and interaction with girls. Yet another sign of yet a new phase....teenage years and junior high...about to begin....it will be harder on us than him. It will be a little bittersweet as he ends seven years of elementary school, but we're excited for what lies ahead.
This past fall, we served at our Re-Engage ministry at church. Couples from all over the city come for 16-25 weeks with the goal of rescuing or improving their marriages. I was amazed to see how their personal lives and their marriages transformed. It helped that they came every week, heard testimonies, learned new skills, and interacted with other couples, but in the end it was only something God could do. For us, it gave us a ministry to do together and drew us closer as well. I can't wait to do the class again.
Outside of all this, Suz stays busy working at the pediatric office and in FW one or two days a week. Work is good for me as we continue to grow, but I find myself in the middle of helping my aging clients. The stock market is the least of my worries these days.
So, this is only a sampling of the good stuff and the challenges we face every day. We are still making mistakes every day, but hopefully growing and maturing as well.
The beginning of the year is typically a slower month since we don't have any kids playing winter sports, but it has been busy so far with Good News Club in January and lots of preparation for Samantha and Suzanne gong to Haiti.
Good News Club is very rewarding, but a lot of work. It's like after school vacation bible school that goes on one day a week for six weeks. It is a big deal as Suzanne coordinates about 25 volunteers who work with 140 kids. I lead music and help out where I can. There is always some challenge each year to make sure we are following all the public school rules, but things always seem to work out. This year, it was special because we had a bunch of 6th graders that were small group helpers in their last year of elementary school. They made us proud!
So, Samantha and Suzanne are off to Haiti on 2/16. Their trip will mirror the trip Austin and I went on last year. We call these trips discipleship trips and not mission trips. The goal is to help the people of Haiti in many ways, but also to train the kids and help them develop a heart for serving. Mission of Hope Haiti is an amazing place where you see amazing people do great things.....it is very inspiring! You'll hear more about this, and I am very excited for them.
The kids are off and running with spring sports. Charlie...soccer. Sam...volleyball and soccer. Austin...winter flag football, maybe co-ed soccer, and soon lots of baseball. It really is a crazy after school schedule. We can hardly look out at the calendar too far.
After they get back, then a few weeks of school then a spring break ski trip for the whole family to Beaver Creek, Co. We have not had much of a winter, so I am ready now!
This semester, Austin has been doing Cotillion....brushing up on his etiquette and interaction with girls. Yet another sign of yet a new phase....teenage years and junior high...about to begin....it will be harder on us than him. It will be a little bittersweet as he ends seven years of elementary school, but we're excited for what lies ahead.
This past fall, we served at our Re-Engage ministry at church. Couples from all over the city come for 16-25 weeks with the goal of rescuing or improving their marriages. I was amazed to see how their personal lives and their marriages transformed. It helped that they came every week, heard testimonies, learned new skills, and interacted with other couples, but in the end it was only something God could do. For us, it gave us a ministry to do together and drew us closer as well. I can't wait to do the class again.
Outside of all this, Suz stays busy working at the pediatric office and in FW one or two days a week. Work is good for me as we continue to grow, but I find myself in the middle of helping my aging clients. The stock market is the least of my worries these days.
So, this is only a sampling of the good stuff and the challenges we face every day. We are still making mistakes every day, but hopefully growing and maturing as well.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Preparing for Haiti
Well, Christmas is over and the new year is upon us. I love time with the family, but I am so glad I can now place some extra focus on the trip Austin and I will be taking to Haiti.
Here is where we are going: http://www.mohhaiti.org/
See our link for all the info: http://fivesilvas-haiti.blogspot.com/
Here is where we are going: http://www.mohhaiti.org/
See our link for all the info: http://fivesilvas-haiti.blogspot.com/
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Raising a Modern Day Night
I recently read this book, "Raising a Modern Day Night" by Robert Lewis. Obviously I recommend this book because it gives advice on how to raise boys to be authentic Christian men. Many dads I know are already great dads, but this challenges all of us to raise the bar and seek out the best. I know I need to be challenged in this area. So, this is not a review as much as it is a few notes/comments on a chapter by chapter basis.
"Grandchildren are the crown of old me, and the glory of sons is their fathers" -Proverbs 17:6 (c. 3)
We are all involved in athletic events, school programs, and church. Ae we imparting a biblical vision for manhood? Are we teaching our sons how to relate to women in a biblical way. We are giving our children good things, but not always the best things. They need social and spiritual competence. They need a vision for manhood, a code of conduct, and a transcendent cause. (c. 4)
Men get vision of manhood from community, family, and church, but it does not alway work that way these days. The author describes a real man as someone who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward. (c. 4)
Do what is right when no one is looking. We need a will to obey, a work to do, and a woman to love. Ten biblical ideas: Loyalty, Servant Leadership, Kindness, Humility, Purity,Honesty, Self-discipline, Excellence, Integrity, and Perseverance. A father must set a godly example, a father must teach spiritual truth, a father trains his son to obey biblical truths by sharing stories, a father reinforces a will to obey by affirmation, attention, and discipline. Identify your son's giftedness. Prepare your son for marriage by loving, leading, and honoring your wife. Teach your son generosity. (c.5)
Boys need a transcendent cause. Don't be irrelevant. It must be heroic, timeless, and meaningful. We need moral conviction over marketplace competence. We need spiritual significant not social success. We need the best things, not just the good things. Share your faith with your son, partcipate in a bible study with him, pray with our son, participate in his baptism, share what you are learning from the bible, and be an example in serving God. (c. 6)
Celebrate key events with a ceremony. Weapons of the spirit: Character, Instruction, and Ceremony. Consider the knighthood ceremony. Ceremonies used cost time in planning, use symbols and prescribe ascribe value...they empower life with vision. (c. 7)
Four key manhood ceremonies all men should recognize: Puberty (13), High School Graduation, College Graduation, and Marriage. (c. 8)
The author suggests six ceremonies, but recommends coming up with your own. Include other dads and possibly sons. (c. 9)
Commemorate a transcendent cause - baptism - with your son. (c. 10)
To help your boy become a man, enlist the community. Your son hears the same message from someone else, it deepens friendships, and it expands your son's mora and spiritual sources. (c. 11)
The father shall model manhood. You will be either a good or bad model, and your son will follow (c. 12)
The author shared reflections on where his sons are today. He also shares the idea of the father's doing a ceremony with their sons watching where they commit to lead their preteen sons(c. 13)
The book ends with encouragement to men who think they have blown it. The author says talk with your son, confess to your son, and bless him, and press on to be the best dad you can. (c. 14)
"Grandchildren are the crown of old me, and the glory of sons is their fathers" -Proverbs 17:6 (c. 3)
We are all involved in athletic events, school programs, and church. Ae we imparting a biblical vision for manhood? Are we teaching our sons how to relate to women in a biblical way. We are giving our children good things, but not always the best things. They need social and spiritual competence. They need a vision for manhood, a code of conduct, and a transcendent cause. (c. 4)
Men get vision of manhood from community, family, and church, but it does not alway work that way these days. The author describes a real man as someone who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward. (c. 4)
Do what is right when no one is looking. We need a will to obey, a work to do, and a woman to love. Ten biblical ideas: Loyalty, Servant Leadership, Kindness, Humility, Purity,Honesty, Self-discipline, Excellence, Integrity, and Perseverance. A father must set a godly example, a father must teach spiritual truth, a father trains his son to obey biblical truths by sharing stories, a father reinforces a will to obey by affirmation, attention, and discipline. Identify your son's giftedness. Prepare your son for marriage by loving, leading, and honoring your wife. Teach your son generosity. (c.5)
Boys need a transcendent cause. Don't be irrelevant. It must be heroic, timeless, and meaningful. We need moral conviction over marketplace competence. We need spiritual significant not social success. We need the best things, not just the good things. Share your faith with your son, partcipate in a bible study with him, pray with our son, participate in his baptism, share what you are learning from the bible, and be an example in serving God. (c. 6)
Celebrate key events with a ceremony. Weapons of the spirit: Character, Instruction, and Ceremony. Consider the knighthood ceremony. Ceremonies used cost time in planning, use symbols and prescribe ascribe value...they empower life with vision. (c. 7)
Four key manhood ceremonies all men should recognize: Puberty (13), High School Graduation, College Graduation, and Marriage. (c. 8)
The author suggests six ceremonies, but recommends coming up with your own. Include other dads and possibly sons. (c. 9)
Commemorate a transcendent cause - baptism - with your son. (c. 10)
To help your boy become a man, enlist the community. Your son hears the same message from someone else, it deepens friendships, and it expands your son's mora and spiritual sources. (c. 11)
The father shall model manhood. You will be either a good or bad model, and your son will follow (c. 12)
The author shared reflections on where his sons are today. He also shares the idea of the father's doing a ceremony with their sons watching where they commit to lead their preteen sons(c. 13)
The book ends with encouragement to men who think they have blown it. The author says talk with your son, confess to your son, and bless him, and press on to be the best dad you can. (c. 14)
Monday, October 27, 2008
William Tyndale: Let there be light!
I don't know much about religious history, but I did want to share some recent thoughts. A few nights ago, I could not sleep, so I got up and came across a show on PBS called "Secrets of the Dead: Battle for the Bible". See http://www.pbs.org/wnet/secrets/previous_seasons/case_bible/index.html. This week's episode was about William Tyndale. He is an Englishman born in 1495 who wrote on many theological topics and even penned a version of the New Testament. He was inspired by Luther and was caught in the middle of the Catholic-Protestant divisions. He was suffocated and burned at the stake in 1535 for trying to publish his bible. His bible eventually became the basis for many later English versions of the bible and affected the development of the English language. He was responsible for the translation of many key phrases such as "Let there be light". He was only one of many who was executed for his belief that men and women should have access in the bible and that the state should not instruct them what to believe. People like him eventually founded the Church of England, and others eventually came to American as Puritans.
There are plenty of people in the Bible to be inspired by...let's say Jesus or Paul for examplel! There are many ordinary people in the Bible as well. When I think of Tyndale, I think he could be any of us. He was merely interested in taking the Bible to the people so they could read it for themselves. You and I are capable of that. Jesus gave His life for us sinners. The young church is full of those who gave their life. Many gave their life at the stake as they protested the church's control over information.
What am I called to do? Just tell others about Jesus. What is the worst that can happen to me? Someone will think I am a radical? Someone won't want to be my friend? Someone will oppose me as I fight to keep God in public life?If that is being burnt at the stake, then let it be!
"It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." - 1 Peter 3:17
David
There are plenty of people in the Bible to be inspired by...let's say Jesus or Paul for examplel! There are many ordinary people in the Bible as well. When I think of Tyndale, I think he could be any of us. He was merely interested in taking the Bible to the people so they could read it for themselves. You and I are capable of that. Jesus gave His life for us sinners. The young church is full of those who gave their life. Many gave their life at the stake as they protested the church's control over information.
What am I called to do? Just tell others about Jesus. What is the worst that can happen to me? Someone will think I am a radical? Someone won't want to be my friend? Someone will oppose me as I fight to keep God in public life?If that is being burnt at the stake, then let it be!
"It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." - 1 Peter 3:17
David
Monday, August 25, 2008
Going Public
OK, I don’t like reading books...especially, any type of how-to book. Having said that, I still thought I should read this book: “Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School”, by David & Kelli Pritchard, big Young Life parents of eight.
The book is a quick read. The basic premise is this: everyone should homeschool….whether you kids are in public school, private school, or at home. I am no writer and am not at good at summing up things, so my apologies for some of the broken thoughts and points….you’ll get the gist of it if you read it.
So, they say there are two ways to keep children from drowning: 1) teach them to swim or 2) stay out of the water. They say, it is better to equip children for life. They believe sending a child to something other than a public school gives the parents a false sense of control. Public school calls the parents to be involved. When adults care and are actively involved in their communities, their children do better in school. Fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is a starting point which means to revere Him. Rather than just deciding, ask God what He wants your child to do. Pray. The Bible teaches spiritual lessons not about education. God is bigger than public school.
The most important thing is to teach your child to love God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. We must infuse this through our daily life, otherwise it is meaningless. You must intentionally rub up against others. Teach kids to obey parents unconditionally. This is a heart issue. Don’t exasperate them. Teach self-control for dealing with unfair circumstances. Self control, wholehearted love for God, and submission to obedience are the most important gifts to give out children.
When you get into disagreements with other parents, be civill. How can you invite folks to church when you are rude to them. When people disagree, get to the facts, not attacks. Blessed are the peacemakers. Let your gentleness be evident. The Lord is near to all. Phil 4:5. Submt to school authority and respond maturely. Don’t be an adult behaving badly.
Incidents with your kids will happen. They are not always preventable, no matter how hard you try. You decide: they will either lead to a reaction or a teachable moment. These moments are intended to further growth and mature you child. There is pressure for us to grow, too. Face it head on.
Parents haunted by bad memories often stay out of schools. They also worry about hours lost at public school, but you still control the majority of wake hours! Parents should be at school. Participate, dads, too. Help. Be a friend to the staff. That will make the experience better that way when you do meet with teachers, you can focus on your child’s character, attitude, response to authority, compassion, and leadership, and let go of all your other hang-ups.
Like I said earlier, the authors say everybody should homeschool….public or private school is no excuse for not teaching your kids. Make sure you address these areas at a minimum: biblical worldview, creation, sexuality, American heritage, and spiritual life. You will have to sacrifice your time to make a difference.
To do public school well, there needs to be one stay at home parent. Single parents need the support of the church and neighborhood. This is hard, and a sacrifice.
Men have to stop placing so much emphasis on work, and participate! Be the leader at home on education topics. Men should live in the light and help children guard their hearts. The man should be the biblical authority.
This is the closest mission field you may ever encounter. The child’s role is to be a good student, good citizen, servant leader…to model what Christianity actually is. They are not evangelists. This is the role of the parents and kids. This is a family mission. Teachers, parents, students are your mission field.
So, don’t forget. God is in charge of everything….including public school. He is sovereign. Satan wins when we let fear overcome us. My God is big! In my efforts to protect my family, am I guilty of trying to control and preserve my life and live in a safe world? Do I have a false sense of control? Is it an illusion that my kids have not been exposed to something that I am not aware of? So, is this what God intended for me? Is that what He intended for my children? No! Do I trust Him? That is the question.
The end of the book contains sections written by the kids. They do a great job showing us how they have turned out and what they are becoming. Testimonies say it better than anything else. Plenty of kids from all education backgrounds have gone bad. At the end of the day, I must love my children and I show them that love by equipping them for life.
The book is a quick read. The basic premise is this: everyone should homeschool….whether you kids are in public school, private school, or at home. I am no writer and am not at good at summing up things, so my apologies for some of the broken thoughts and points….you’ll get the gist of it if you read it.
So, they say there are two ways to keep children from drowning: 1) teach them to swim or 2) stay out of the water. They say, it is better to equip children for life. They believe sending a child to something other than a public school gives the parents a false sense of control. Public school calls the parents to be involved. When adults care and are actively involved in their communities, their children do better in school. Fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is a starting point which means to revere Him. Rather than just deciding, ask God what He wants your child to do. Pray. The Bible teaches spiritual lessons not about education. God is bigger than public school.
The most important thing is to teach your child to love God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. We must infuse this through our daily life, otherwise it is meaningless. You must intentionally rub up against others. Teach kids to obey parents unconditionally. This is a heart issue. Don’t exasperate them. Teach self-control for dealing with unfair circumstances. Self control, wholehearted love for God, and submission to obedience are the most important gifts to give out children.
When you get into disagreements with other parents, be civill. How can you invite folks to church when you are rude to them. When people disagree, get to the facts, not attacks. Blessed are the peacemakers. Let your gentleness be evident. The Lord is near to all. Phil 4:5. Submt to school authority and respond maturely. Don’t be an adult behaving badly.
Incidents with your kids will happen. They are not always preventable, no matter how hard you try. You decide: they will either lead to a reaction or a teachable moment. These moments are intended to further growth and mature you child. There is pressure for us to grow, too. Face it head on.
Parents haunted by bad memories often stay out of schools. They also worry about hours lost at public school, but you still control the majority of wake hours! Parents should be at school. Participate, dads, too. Help. Be a friend to the staff. That will make the experience better that way when you do meet with teachers, you can focus on your child’s character, attitude, response to authority, compassion, and leadership, and let go of all your other hang-ups.
Like I said earlier, the authors say everybody should homeschool….public or private school is no excuse for not teaching your kids. Make sure you address these areas at a minimum: biblical worldview, creation, sexuality, American heritage, and spiritual life. You will have to sacrifice your time to make a difference.
To do public school well, there needs to be one stay at home parent. Single parents need the support of the church and neighborhood. This is hard, and a sacrifice.
Men have to stop placing so much emphasis on work, and participate! Be the leader at home on education topics. Men should live in the light and help children guard their hearts. The man should be the biblical authority.
This is the closest mission field you may ever encounter. The child’s role is to be a good student, good citizen, servant leader…to model what Christianity actually is. They are not evangelists. This is the role of the parents and kids. This is a family mission. Teachers, parents, students are your mission field.
So, don’t forget. God is in charge of everything….including public school. He is sovereign. Satan wins when we let fear overcome us. My God is big! In my efforts to protect my family, am I guilty of trying to control and preserve my life and live in a safe world? Do I have a false sense of control? Is it an illusion that my kids have not been exposed to something that I am not aware of? So, is this what God intended for me? Is that what He intended for my children? No! Do I trust Him? That is the question.
The end of the book contains sections written by the kids. They do a great job showing us how they have turned out and what they are becoming. Testimonies say it better than anything else. Plenty of kids from all education backgrounds have gone bad. At the end of the day, I must love my children and I show them that love by equipping them for life.
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